How do I tell my wife that she needs to exercise and lose weight?

July 2nd, 2009 by | Filed under General Talking.

No, really. We’re trying to conceive, have an uphill battle to do so already and her health is a factor. But she’s so very sensitive that she doesn’t want to hear the truth.
The trick is that she’s home alone all day, and we’ve moved to a new city where she doesn’t really know where to go to get out and do things.

She thinks she eats relatively healthy, but she snacks all the time.
I exercise myself, but she never joins in and if I ask her she behaves as if I’ve asked her to levitate or cure cancer or something. I’m in decent shape and she knows it. I’ve approached it as wanting a workout partner but gotten nowhere so far.

The fertility problem is on her side. She had surgery to remove an ectopic pregnancy that resulted in the removal of a section of one of her fallopian tubes, (which are longer than usual), so now we’re flying on 50% thrusters, so to speak, and because her periods are long and somewhat irregular it’s difficult to time.

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15 Responses to “How do I tell my wife that she needs to exercise and lose weight?”

  1. Michael M | 2/07/09

    Don’t she will get real mad.

  2. Your Conscience | 2/07/09

    Make it something you can do together.
    Do the grocery shopping together, cook together, go for a hike or a swim. Take a walk after dinner.
    You don’t have to be up front about it if she is really sensitive. If you keep it up, she’ll feel better and look better and that will motivate her to do it on her own.

  3. Vicky | 2/07/09

    hint her. put healthy foods in the house and throw away all the things tht r pure fat or have so many calories. but, if you love your wife, then leave her the way she is if you truly love her.
    thanks :) hope my advice helped!

    (please put as best answer… i really need the points :)

  4. Old Mister Happy | 2/07/09

    If she’s not listening to her doctor about this, why would she listen to you, the lowly husband? If she isn’t seeing a doctor, then she should (and perhaps you could talk to him privately, as the spouse with your concerns). If she won’t take care of herself now, will she during the pregnancy?

  5. theterrorofdeath | 2/07/09

    Sometimes,you just need to be blunt about it and let her know that if you two are to start a family,she needs to take her health/weight into consideration,as an ailing,or overweight body,can cause health complications for the potentially unborn,and her. It can also cause some consternation to the doctors during any sort of procedure they may need to do to her if that situation occurs. Trying to sugar coat the truth pisses women off even more than being honest(or using kid-gloves,as it were),yet they still ignore it when confronted,even in the face of strong evidence in regards to the issue at hand(Yes women,it is true :3)Then again,you two may need to re-asses your priorities.

  6. Jake No Chat | 2/07/09

    Not an easy one. First, you got to say that you love her no matter what. Second, you should express your concern about her health as the only reason you are saying something. My wife of 30 years had gained a bit of weight after raising our kids. I did tell her I loved her for her, and I was concerned about her health and the possible onset of adult diabetes. She did not like it and anything I said was not helpful until she decided that losing weight was important for her. She lost 70 pounds in the last year and now feels great (no pun intended). Good luck to you both.

  7. theninjette | 2/07/09

    Do it with her. Clear out the fridge/cupboard of all crap food, and fill the house with only sensible options. Buy a gym membership for the two of you. When she gets home, give her some flowers and say, "I don’t know about you, but I’m ready to make a family with the woman I love – let’s get healthy together so we can start off on the right foot!"

    Be cheery, positive and encouraging – and don’t criticize.

  8. mcq316 | 2/07/09

    You can’t just be HONEST with you wife? I swear, I must not understand marriage at all.

  9. kelly | 2/07/09

    Get your doctor to talk to her about it. If it truly is an issue as far as you all getting pregnant it will be much more convincing coming from a professional.

    You’re going to have to make it a lifestyle change for the both of you. Losing weight is so much easier if you have someone to do it with. You can do physical things together. My boyfriend and I like to go on walks, play sports in the park with our friends, go to the lake and go swimming, etc. If you make it fun instead of a drudgery she will think you’re being creative and resourceful instead of a jerk.

    You should also go online and look for some activities that she could join. If you go on Craigs List there are always postings for gym groups, running groups, adult kickball teams, that kind of thing. It would be a good way for you all to meet people in a new city as well.

  10. gramma rocks | 2/07/09

    You don’t. You stress your concern for her carrying your child and how you want her to be as comfortable as possible during that time, and throughout delivery, and address any health concerns with your doctor.

    Also, you make it so it’s an "US" thing, so you are both going to work on your health for the sake of the baby you are trying to conceive. Find healthy recipes together, develop an exercise program together.

    Combat the snack problem by keeping only "healthy" snacks in the house, go on walks or bike rides together in the evening and on weekends

    Check out the sites below to get started, and find more together!

  11. magnadudl | 2/07/09

    I think the best way to go about this is to do not actually say anything, but to get her to do stuff with you. For example, when you come home from work, ask her if she wants to take a walk with you before dinner; or look for festivals or art shows in your area that you both could go to and spend most of a day walking around. Another more direct way would be to join a gym and invite her to come along with you one day (most gyms offer specials and/or discounts if a member gets someone else to join).

  12. Hanny | 2/07/09

    Explain to her that if she carries on eating too much, she’ll damage her health severely. I understand she is quite sensitive, but think: isn’t her health more important than just upsetting her, when it will do good?

    Or you could try exercising with her and helping her to lose weight, and stop snacking. You could go for a long walk with her, which is exercising and then you will not be upsetting her.

  13. wonder | 2/07/09

    don’t tell her she’s overweight…….maybe since you are in a new city look up some activites she can do. I know some malls have a walk club in the mornings and they walk around before the mall opens. Or you can go do something with her. Trust me if you put a little effort into it so will she. Get out and make it fun take a dance lesson or ride bikes, see what the local gym has to offer. There’s kickboxing, yoga a mix up from doing a regular routine.

  14. Chakra | 2/07/09

    Why not visit the doctor about it (the period)? Maybe they can prescribe some type of pill for her or something. Also, tell her that you’re concerned about her health and that you don’t want her to get any health troubles. Buy her some healthy snacks instead of all those junk food. Go grocery shopping with her, go have walks with her and do stuff together. Also, check out what kind of activities that you guys or she can join in your town area. Maybe a swimming aerobics club or something you guys might enjoy.

  15. hello | 2/07/09

    Is she on fertility drugs? Fertility drugs cause weight gain in a lot of women.

    If she’s just getting lazy, nicely ask her to come exercise with you so that yous can spend time together and get healthy. She may be a little depressed, so that’s why she over-eating and becoming a little lax. She needs some friends and some good places to go. She’s in a new city, she’s gaing weight, having a difficult time concieving and to top it off, she is home alone all day. She has a lot going on inside. Since she is in a new place, she feels isolated. Help and encourage her. Soon as she gets back moving, the pounds will shed. Don’t make her feel worse than she already does. Tell her how beautiful she is and how much she means to you. She may be hiding her sadness from you.

    As soon as she feels better, she will want to look better. Then, everything can fall into place again.

    Good Luck

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